How do I help maintain my child’s home language? (I) 如何帮助孩子保持中文第一语言的能力？（一）
Many parents have this concern. We worry that our kids will completely stop speaking Chinese when they acquire fluent English. And this does happen to many kids. So as parents we all seem to get caught in this delimma. If we facilitate English acquisition and learning, then we risk accelerating their alienation from their home language. But does it have to be this way? What are the solutions that we may consider? What are the pros and cons of different strategies? How to minimize the cons and make them work better? Below is the first part of a review.
很多家长都有这方面的诉求。我们担心孩子会在英语完全流利之后，就不再开口说中文了。家长们都面临这样的两难境地。如果我们大力支持孩子学英文，我们就有可能加速他们与中文的疏离。但是真的必定如此吗？有什么方法可以两全？不同的方法策略有什么优势和不足？如何弥补不足扩大优势？下面我们将逐条细说。
Strategy #1: No English at home. The kids (and parents) have to speak Chinese (or whatever the home language is) at home. It was a rule of thumb recommended by many educators, including language teachers. Even pediatricians give this advice on regular checkups for bilingual toddlers and preschoolers. It was firmly believed to be beneficial to and respectful of these kids’ home language and culture.
方法一：在家不许说英语。孩子和家长在家都必须说中文。不少老师会推荐这一条经验法则，甚至连孩子的儿医都会在幼儿去做体检的时候给出这个建议。很多人坚信这是尊重孩子的第一语言和祖籍国文化，并且对孩子有好处。
Pros: Parents can provide rich natual language environment for and native speaker examples of the home language, in our case, Chinese. Kids have to keep processing and producing Chinese to function well at home. The home can also serve as a mini-cultural oasis to preserve elements of the Chinese culture. It’s also an easy strategy in the sense that parents don’t have to have special training in or awareness of any teaching practice; they just need to require their kids to speak only Chinese at home.
优势：家长可以在生活的举手投足间给孩子提供自然且丰富的语言环境，并且做孩子的好榜样。孩子必须通过不断听说中文而在家里面交流顺畅。家庭还自然富有中华文化的元素，成为一个小小的文化绿洲。这也是一个在无须特殊培训提高意识的条件下，比较容易马上用起来的方法。家长只需要要求孩子在家只说英语就好了。
Cons: Contrary to popular belief, in many cases the effect of this method is not as long-lasting as we would wish. Many kids would ditch their home language (Chinese) sooner or later. Usually by adolescence many of them would total rebel and refuse to speak Chinese. When parents speak to them, they would reply in English even when they do understand the meaning. This happens even sooner when there are two or more kids in a household. They speak between/among themselves in English and find it hard to carry out their parents home language requirement. Furthermore, many of them develop an aversion to speaking their home language as conflicts over language and between cultures arise. The more kids feel disconnected with the outside world when at home, the more resentment they would feel.
不足：与大多数人以为的相反，在很多情况下这个方法的持久性没有人们想象的高。很多孩子迟早会不再说中文了的。常常是到了青春期，不少孩子就会彻底叛逆，拒绝说中文了。在家长用中文跟他们说话的时候，他们即使听得懂，也会用英语回答。如果家里有两个及以上的孩子，他们很可能会更早地不讲中文了。他们之间一聊起来，就会完全对家长的要求置之不理。不仅如此，不少孩子还会因为中西文化的差异而对说中文产生反感。家里家外的反差与断连越大，孩子就约会不乐意说中文。
Kids may also find themselves double-processing their academic subjects in Chinese at home but in English at school. It may slow some of them down, especially on the public speaking and writing front in English. Just try saying a double negative sentence in your native language, for example：
“I don’t dislike what you just said to me, but I would not prefer people not staying calm.” vs. “I’m okay with what you just said to me, but I would prefer people to stay calm.”
The first sentence in quote is a classic example of the brain being asked to double process. Imagine double-processing academic knowledge and fundamental skills in two languages for an elementary school kid! This could be especially difficult when logic is presented or concept processed differently, such as numbers — counting in French is VERY different from in English; after reaching 1,000, Chinese and English conceptualize numbers differently, too. A rigid requirement of kids using only home language even for school work will usually result in resistance.
如果家长要求孩子在讨论学习内容的时候也用中文，孩子就会陷入“双重处理”之中。这会让他们提高更慢，尤其是在当众演说和写作等方面。我们可以用自己的母语试一试听说理解双重否定句， 比如：“我不是不喜欢你对我说的这些话，但是我不希望有人跟我说话的时候不镇定。” 相对于这句话，正面肯定句会更容易让我们快速理解，比如：“我喜欢你对我说的这些话，但是我希望你平静下来再说话。” 第一句话是经典的双重处理。想象一下，我们才上小学的孩子用两种语言双重处理所学知识和基础技能！当两种语言在逻辑上和概念上非常不同的时候，即使是同样的知识点，也会变得不利于认知。例如数字，法语的数字说法和英语的就有很不相同的地方，中文的数字过千以后再概念理解上也和英文很不一样。硬性规定孩子必须用中文讨论学习内容会导致孩子的抗拒的。
How to minimize the cons: If it is your firm belief that kids have to speak Chinese at home, do it in fun and respectful ways and give gentle but firm nudges when they forget. Set a good example by not speaking English yourself and try hard to explain things that do not have a one word/phrase equivalent (It’s hard, though, and you may ditch the attempt yourself). Learn to be as bicultural as possible yourself, especially in the area of politeness and ettiquettes. Help your kids see, understand, and respect cultural differences. Relax the “no English” rule when it comes to school work and allow discussions in English for them to process well. Their homework has do be done in English anyways, unless it’s homework from a foreign language class. Remember that although Chinese (or any other home language) is your child’s first language, but it’s up to the child to choose his/her dominant language.
如何弥补：如果您坚信孩子必须在家说中文，请以尊重和有趣的方式提醒他们说中文。要求孩子做到的，家长自己也必须做到（用中文表达没有对等翻译的英文内容是不容易的，很多家长中途放弃）。自己学习做到更充分地双文化，尤其是在礼貌和礼节方面。帮助孩子看到、理解、和尊重文化差异。在孩子在家做作业讨论学习的时候，放松对“必须中文”的要求，让孩子的认知先得到充分的发展。学校作业也必须用英文做，除非是其他语言课的作业。中文虽然是您孩子的第一语言，但是孩子选择哪个语言做他的主导语言，还是孩子自己的事。
Strategy #2: Go to an after school or Sunday school for the home language, for example, a weekend Chinese school. This strategy is often used alongside the “no English at home” strategy by many parents. Other non-heritage students and kids who do not have a firm “no English as home” rule also go to extracurricular language schools, too.
方法二：把孩子送到中文课后班或者周末中文学校。很多要求在家只说中文的家长，也会选择把孩子送到课后班或者周末中文学校去学习。家里不要求说中文的只和其他第一语言非中文的孩子也会选择去中文课后班或者周末中文学校。
Pros: The kids have a community instead of a single family to retain their home language and culture. The teachers are all native speakers of the language and first generation immigrants who are living examples of the culture. Kids learn language skills in their home language just like learning language art in English. Textbooks provide written samples in standard Chinese to assist kids become literate in their home language. There may be other enrichment courses after the language class (mainly) in Chinese, such as chess, martial art, singing, drawing, musical instruments, etc. Periodically, there will be other organized community and cultural events to participate. Everyone feels more connected to their culture and forms new friendship outside of regular school.
优势：孩子会有比家庭单打独斗更好的社区语言文化环境。老师都是中文为母语的第一代移民。孩子们就像在学校学英语一样学中文语文。课本的语言非常规范，帮孩子获得读写能力。中文课之后还会有其他以说中文为主的课程，比如，国际象棋、武术、唱歌、画画、乐器等。学校还会为华人社区定期举办文化活动。每个人都能更好地联谊，在全日制学校以外也有好朋友。
Cons: As much as all teachers care about their students work as hard as they can, they are also part-time instructors in the school, most of whom have drastically different day jobs. The school typically offer a brief training at the beginning of a semester, but not all teachers have a teaching degree. Kids may still keep speaking English to each other.
不足：虽然老师都很有爱心尽心尽力，但是他们都是兼职的，平时的工作可能和教学大相径庭。学校在开学初一般会有培训，但不是所有的老师都有教学相关的文凭。孩子们熟悉起来以后可能还是会在课下用英语交流。
How to minimize the cons: If you live in a bigger city where there are two or more extracurricular language schools teaching your language, pay a visit to each and get a feel of which one is a better fit for your child. Get your child into a class that matches her age and level. See if the teacher’s teaching method and style are a good fit for your child and/or your personal beliefs/preferences. Believe in the teacher once you have chosen the class. Truth is, given enough time, if the teacher really cares about teaching and about students’ learning, your kid (especially yong kids) will make friends fast and enjoy learning. I’ve seen plenty of kids not getting as much out of the experience because their parents are too doubtful and switched them from one teacher to another too much, so they only get bits and pieces here and there and won’t be able to form friendship with other kids. Yes, having friends is cruicial to learning and perseverance. Offer appropriate assistance (not just supervision) when they are doing their Chinese homework is also important, which I will talk about in another post. Equally importantly, particpate cultural and community events affiliated with the school so that both you and your child feel a sense of belonging and your child, more open to learning.
如何弥补：如果您住在一个比较大的城市，很可能会发现有不止一个中文学校。去每个学校都看看，感觉一下氛围，看看您和孩子更喜欢哪个。在学校允许的时间段带孩子去试听一次课，看看孩子喜欢哪个。根据学校的建议把孩子放进和他的年龄与语言能力匹配的班级。看看老师的教学方法是否符合您个人的理念以及孩子的喜好。一旦选好，就要信任老师的教学。实际上，给老师和孩子充分的时间，所有尽职尽责的老师都能教好，孩子也能在学校里拥有朋友，享受学习。我遇到有些家长，太担心孩子能不能学好中文了，给孩子换来换去，结果孩子断断续续学了凤毛麟角，也没有和任何其他孩子建立友谊。是的友谊对孩子喜欢学中文并且能够坚持下去非常重要。同时，还要在孩子写作业的时候给予恰到好处的帮助。我会在以后的文中具体写如何帮助孩子。与语言学习本身同等重要的是参与学校提供的社区文化活动，这样您和孩子都会感到有归属感，同时孩子也会更加愿意学中文。
There are also other important strategies to retain your child’s home language, which I will discuss in a second post. Stay tuned!
篇幅原因，其他几项重要的方法将在下一篇中发出。敬请关注。